Reflectionsof A Stay At Home Mom

Well, the terrible two's are upon us. Actually it's more like the terrible 18 months and so on. Zebediah is 22 months old, and is a VERY independent little man. He is just like a man too, lol. He loves cars, makes "vroom vroom" noises in a very growly voice any chance he gets, he loves his tools and "fixing" things, very hands on, and has very selective hearing. Selective hearing meaning that whenever he hears a woman's voice, he pretends not to hear, lol.

So, he has decided he doesn't have to listen, he can tell mommy no (even if it's to being sent to the corner), he even has started to hit. Ugh. So, now we have to stop spanking because of the hitting, because that's where he's getting it from, and he thinks it's ok to hit. I don't like spanking much anyway, so that will be a good change. But, what do we do to curb his defiant behavior. Well, I just went to my trusted source of advice, Parents.com to see what they had to say. I found the 5-Second Discipline Fix, here's some exerts:


The Friendly Approach to Discipline

Let's face it: If you had a dollar for every time you wanted your child to do something, paying the bills would be painless. You need him to listen up so you can make it through the day -- and keep your home from becoming a total disaster zone. Yet, like most parents, you probably don't want to be a nag (or a drill sergeant), so you constantly ask your child to cooperate. You figure he'll be more likely to pick up his towel off the bathroom floor or sit down at the dinner table if you come across as friendly rather than bossy. After all, you'll catch more flies with honey, right?

It seems like a reasonable approach, especially since that's the way that we typically talk to adults. "Being polite in our society requires making indirect requests, such as 'Can you pass the salt?'" explains developmental psychologist Linda Acredolo, PhD, a Parents advisor and coauthor of Baby Hearts. "If you interpret this question literally -- as young children always do -- it isn't actually a request for salt, it's a question of whether or not the person is capable of passing the salt." (Of course, you'd never expect your dinner companion to simply answer, "Yes.") So when you ask your child, "Would you like to take a bath now?" he thinks that you're actually offering him the opportunity to say no -- even though you really meant it as a polite way to make a direct command. The result? "You get upset and your child gets upset -- and confused," says Dr. Acredolo.

Watch Your Tone

Of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice. "Research has shown that children are much more likely to cooperate when parents use a pleasant tone of voice," says Alan E. Kazdin, PhD, professor of psychology and child psychiatry at Yale University. "Please" isn't called the magic word for nothing. Using it can get your foot-dragging toddler to put on her pj's without a fuss. "When you're giving your child instructions, it's also crucial to be very clear about what you want her to do -- she should be able to picture the behavior in her mind," says Dr. Kazdin. For instance, it's much more effective to say, "Please go into the den and clean up all the crayons on the table," rather than, "Didn't I ask you to clean up your crayons?" (Rhetorical questions will get you absolutely nowhere.)

The final word: thanks. "It's particularly important to acknowledge your child's efforts by saying 'thank you,'" says Dr. Acredolo. "We're all more likely to cooperate in the future when we feel appreciated."

Give Choices

The most effective way to get your child to cooperate is to give her two choices -- both of which you'll be happy with. When you say, "Do you want to wear your blue jacket or the green sweatshirt with the hood?" it'll be a win-win situation: You give your child a sense of control, and he'll be ready to go out one way or the other. Don't offer a toddler or preschooler an open-ended array of options ("What do you want to wear today?") because the decision will be too overwhelming. "Of course, you can't always give your child choices because you would never get out of the house on time," says Dr. Kazdin. "But do it whenever you can."

To get more tips go to parents.com, they have wonderful advice for everything. So, tomorrow we will be trying these tips and see how it goes. I'm going to give it a couple weeks, but I'll let you know what works, and what doesn't.

I just want to say thank you to all our troops past and present. Thank you for all you've done and all you will do for us and our country. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

A friend posted this song from YouTube on Facebook today, and I thought it highly appropriate for today (sorry it's a clicky, I can't figure out how to post it here). Enjoy.

October 9th (my c-section date) came too fast. I was so nervous, because I didn't know what to expect. I knew how the c-section would go, but I never had one scheduled before so I didn't know how that would go. It actually was the easiest birth I had (minus the stress leading up to it and during). I got there, got settled in. First thing they did is put an IV in, and I almost passed out LAYING DOWN. I don't do well with needles, so I was expecting it. Once I calmed down, we went through all the normal health history stuff, boring. Got blood drawn, but I didn't get woozy for that one. They bring me to the OR and I get a spinal. I hated the feeling of numbness but still can feel touch and pushing, it is the grossest feeling in the world to me. I actually did really good, they didn't need to give me any "mental" drugs to calm me down. The only time I got really freaked out was when they were pulling him out, there was so much pressure on my lungs and everything else (the Dr. asked me later if I was in pain because of how I reacted to it, lol). It only took 45 minutes, but it sure felt longer. Ezekiel was born at 7:50, weighed 7 lbs 7 oz, and 20 inches long (I had to look that up, because when they told me I was so drugged up that I don't remember).

He's getting so big already. He's a month old, he's trying to hold his head up and does quite well at it. He smiles and giggles, but only when he sleeps. He sleeps more than I remember a baby sleeping, and eats quite well. The other two just love him, they give him hugs and kisses whenever they can. Hazel even decided one day to pick him up without help. He was crying, and I didn't get to him fast enough, and she wanted to help with her little brother. She helps feed him, and gives him his pacifier when he needs it. Zeb is too busy to do all that, but every once in a while he'll help feed him (for a minute, then he goes back to playing). So far, 3 under 4 yrs. old has been a lot of fun, and a lot of work.

I have been interested in photography for about 3 years now, but have only studied it for almost 2 years now. I have gotten so much better than when I first started. I love this picture I took last night, I love being able to capture moments like this. I had a Cannon Powershot point and shoot camera for most of that time and could never get a picture like this on purpose, but this year I got a Nikon D90. I love it, and can do so much more with it than I could do with my Cannon. I recommend this camera to anyone upgrading to a DSLR. All you need to know before buying one is right here, http://www.nikondigitutor.com/eng/d90/index.shtml, this site even gives you beginners tips. Enjoy.

Am I really that overprotective, or do these people not know how to take care of their kids?  Our neighbors have a 3 year old and a 4 year old, and they have free reign to go anywhere, parents no where to be found.  The 3 year old walked in the middle of the road, to the end of the cul-de-sac to look for his dad.  Where was dad?  On his motorbike (non-street legal, might I add) down the block.  I couldn't tell you where mom was.

Never, never, never would my 3 year old  be outside in our yard without me or her dad right by her, let alone able to walk in the road without us. I know where my kids are ALL the time, especially outside.  They don't understand the concept of a car and that one could kill them, they don't understand the full concept of strangers and that they could be taken by them.  They're too little to understand those realities, that's why we are here as parents.

Well, it's been quite a while so I decided to try this blogging thing again, so here goes.

As this baby gets closer to being born, I can't help but feel jipped out of an experience I will never have: a natural birth. I had 2 previous c-sections, so naturally this one has to be a c-section because my hospital doesn't do vba2c's.

With baby #1, everything was good. I started labor around 4pm, but didn't realize that it was real labor til the next day around noon. Went to the hospital about 5pm the next day, got checked in. Everything was going good, but I wasn't dilating. Then I had to get the baby monitor on, so I couldn't walk around like I should've. They then tell me I need an IV, which made me freak out because I can't handle needles. When they put it in, baby's heartbeat dropped, which made them put me on oxygen, which made me worse. The contraction pain was pretty good by now, so I got the epidural (HUGE mistake). It wore off a little while later, and the extra shot didn't work, so they gave me Nubian. I was so high that I couldn't complete a sentence and didn't understand half of what anyone said to me, it was not a good experience at all. A couple hours later, I was able to push. I tried for 3 hours. Nothing. The Dr. even tried the vacuum thing, but it didn't work. So off to emergency c-section. They put me out, and at 4:01 am a beautiful baby girl was born. Turns out she was "sunny side up", which means her head was facing up instead of down, I would've never got her out myself.

Baby #2 I wanted to do a VBAC. My Dr. was all for letting me try, even though he was sure I would end up with another c-section. I needed to try for my own sake. I told hubby that if I ended up with a c-section we were done with kids, because of my intense fear of needles, knowing that I was destined to never be able to have a child naturally after that, but he would have to get snipped because my decision couldn't be last minute in the OR. My labor started around 4pm, and it was terrible. I only felt contractions where I was cut open, and it HURT. Got to the hospital around 2am (yes, I have really long labor). Got checked in to my room. I got an IV right away, "just in case". I got the epidural because I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I meet the on-call Dr., who proceeds to tell me that I am probably going to have a c-section. He left and I was MAD. I did not want a c-section, and wasn't going to have one. 3 hours later, no progression at all, even with "perfect" contractions. He came in and told me we were doing a c-section, I begged for another hour, but nope (I wish I would've stood up for myself more). Turns out his shift was almost over, and he either didn't want to be stuck at the hospital, or didn't want to leave me for the next guy. I then asked to be put out, because I knew I couldn't handle being awake. Nope on that, too. He was not nice to me. So, they start the c-section, and I can feel everything he is doing, no pain, just pushing and pulling. So of course I freak out, and hyperventilate. He told me to calm my breathing down (jerk), I then tell him I'm trying to. The anesthesiologist then gives me a drug and I went to sleep. Woke up when the baby was born, and all I could say was, "Aw, he's crying." and went back to sleep.

Well, obviously, hubby never got his end of the deal done, and here we are with #3 on the way. I will be having my 3rd, and last c-section October 9th. I will never get to experience a natural birth, and feel as though I was jipped out of a part of being a woman.

Well, crazy things happen when you're not planning for it. I'm having baby #3, she/he will be due in October. I figure I am about 6 weeks along right now, woo hoo. So of course, me needing all sorts of information, I had to find out just what is going on with baby right now:

Week Five

• First heartbeats begin - If you have an early ultrasound you may not be able to recognize this tiny being as a baby, but there is no mistaking what it feels like seeing your child's heartbeat on that screen. That rhythmic beat is echoed in your own heart.
• Umbilical cord develops - This is your baby's lifeline in utero. It bears the responsibility of pumping in oxygen, removing waste, and supplying the necessary nutrients for the remainder of your pregnancy.
• Blood is now pumping - All four heart chambers are now functioning, insuring your baby's body will receive all it needs over not only the remainder of your pregnancy but throughout life.
• Most other organs begin to develop - Your infant's lungs start to appear, along with her brain. Already your little one is preparing for a quest for lifelong learning!
• Arm and leg buds appear - While they may not appear to be much at this stage it is ok to dream of the future. Just imagine your ballerina twirling and jumping around your kitchen floor. Or perhaps you will have the precocious boy that throws the perfect pitch -- right through the neighbor's window.

Week Six

• The arms and legs continue to develop - These limbs are stretching out more and more. Later on you will be feeling those feet and elbows up close and personal right in your bladder!
• Brain is growing well - Did you know that over the course of the remaining months that your baby's brain will develop over 100 billion neurons? This is just the beginning!
• Lenses of the eyes appear - If you could catch a glimpse inside, you would notice your baby's appearance becoming increasing like a newborn's.
• Nostrils are formed - The position of the nose seems to shift into its proper place as well. Soon, the nerves running from the nose to the brain appear.
• Intestines grow - Initially these are actually located outside the baby's body within the umbilical cord.
• Pancreas - Your baby is now equipped to deal with digestive enzymes and take on processing the insulin and glucagons the body needs to function.

Week Seven

• Elbows form - Again, taking a peek inside you could see your baby's fascination with bending and flexing. Later you will swear you can enlist your child as the star of the next "Karate Kid" movie!
• Fingers start to develop - These digits often become your baby's first toy!
• Feet start to appear with tiny notches for the toes - It is fascinating that at less than a half inch, your little guy (or gal) already is leaving "footprints" on your heart!
• Ears eyes and nose start to appear - Although they may resemble an alien life form, these all "shift" soon enough into a more normal appearance.
• Intestines start to form in the umbilical cord - Did you know that initially the intestines are not formed inside your baby's body?
• Teeth begin to develop under the gums - Thankfully, right now you won't be dealing with teething pain!

Wow. That is a lot of growing in just 3 weeks. It's so amazing to me this thing called life. We all start out so so tiny. I'm excited. We already have a girl's name picked out, and no I'm not going to share just yet. We cannot find a boy's name that we really really like for anything, so any suggestions would be well appreciated.

Here's the link. Basically some parents in NY tried to file a religious (and medical) exemption to mandatory vaccines. They were then called in to discuss this exemption. For 2 hours their faith was questioned. In the end they were denied both exemptions. I guess it was legal for the school to do this kind of questioning.

Since when do schools have the right to tell us how to parent? If we don't want to vaccinate our children, that should be our right and we shouldn't have to answer to anyone. Where does it stop? Will we soon not be able to take our children to church, will we not be able to home school? Where does it stop?

So I have a confession. I am in love with the Disney Channel. It's the only thing I watch anymore. Not really surprising with 2 kids, but I watch it without them as well. My absolutely favorite show is Phineas and Ferb, followed by Imagination Movers. I really like all the teeny-boppers music from the Disney Channel, too (well, most of it). Yeah, I know, I love hard core music, screamo, but, I really am digging the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus (but not Hannah Montana, ugh), and Demi Lovato.

I really like the Disney Channel because they're family friendly, I don't have to worry about language, nudity, sex, alcohol, or the like. It seems like no matter what you watch anywhere else, even commercials, contain unnecessary sex, drugs, and alcohol, no matter the time of day. Some of it borders on porn, some of it is porn (have you seen the Levi's commercials?). Even though it doesn't "show" anything, it doesn't leave room for imagination. I don't want to watch that, let alone my children. So Disney it is for us.

I have decided that the babies and I need to get some structure, and some learning time in. I need to make a schedule that we stick by, I kind of have a schedule but it needs to be better. I found this really cool website that gives you weekly ideas on how and what to teach about. Letteroftheweek.com starts from age 0 to age 8.

The week 1 theme for 2 year olds is cows. Then you can print out coloring pages, there's a vocabulary word, book suggestions, activities, colors, shapes, numbers, and so on. Every week is a new learning experience.

Since I plan on homeschooling, this should get us to a great start.

Potty training. A stressful time for parents, and toddlers alike. It is no fun, and the first time going through it is scary. So, when do you know it is the right time? I love Parents magazine, because they always have helpful tips, so here goes.

If you're not sure when to introduce the potty, consider more than your child's age. Watch for these six important signs, says Elissa Levine, MD, a pediatrician in Charlotte, North Carolina. (It may still help to know that girls are typically ready to start training at around 2 1/2 and boys at about 3.)


Your child shows an interest in the potty process. For instance, he follows you into the bathroom or wants to flush.

She tells you when she's about to poop or pee or you can see from her squatting, grunts, or facial expressions that she's about to go.

He wants to be changed after pooping.

She's not constipated.

You have a reasonable amount of time and energy to devote to this intensive, sometimes frustrating process.

There aren't any major events going on in the family, such as a new baby or a recent move.

Cool, so we're ready. Where do we start? Here's more advice from Parent's:

After your child understands what she's supposed to do on the toilet, follow up with these strategies:

1. Provide your child with her own potty chair so she's low to the ground and her feet touch the floor.Some children have a fear of falling in the toilet or of just hearing it flush, notes Maria Luisa Escolar, MD, a developmental pediatrician at the Center for the Study of Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina. Although a potty chair is generally placed in the bathroom, you could also put it in the playroom or child's bedroom, where she'll become comfortable with its presence over time.

2. Place your child on the potty seat at the same time each day so this becomes a regular part of his daily routine. You may want to try this first thing in the morning, says Dr. Escolar, but other times of the day may work better for your child. Leave him there for a few minutes and see if he goes; then take him off, even if he hasn't.

3.Ask your child regularly if she has to go to the bathroom, and encourage her to tell you if she does . Adopt a consistent lingo for words associated with toilet training. Whether you say "poop" and "pee" or "urinate" and "defecate," choose words that are not offensive or embarrassing or that describe toileting functions in a negative way.

4. When your child does go in the potty, be sure to reward him. Hugs, praise, or small rewards (like placing stickers on a calendar to mark his achievement) all help to reinforce the behavior. Don't use food as a reward.

5. If your child fails to go in the potty, don't scold or punish her. And if she's had an accident, simply clean up and encourage her to keep trying. Then move on to another activity without making a fuss.

6. Once your child has been successful at toileting a few times, consider dressing her in underwear so that she becomes keenly aware of being wet or dry. Some parents prefer to put their kids in disposable training pants until they're fully trained. But, Dr. Wolraich warns, training pants are still absorbent enough that they may delay the process.

7. Continue toilet training even if you go on outings. Take along a potty seat, if possible, and remember to ask your child if she has to go to the bathroom. Take an extra pair of clean underwear, too, in case of an accident.

8. When your child has learned to use the toilet consistently during the day, you may be able to take her out of diapers at night. Avoid giving her too many fluids before bedtime, and make sure she uses the toilet so that she's less likely to wet her bed.

Above all else, remain calm and matter-of-fact about the entire process. Keep in mind that accidents will happen, and when they do, avoid making a fuss or criticizing your child.

For more information on potty training go to http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/potty-training/

More adventures to come. Wish us luck.

Ahhhhhhh, my babies are growing up. They are so amazing. They are learning new things everyday. I have quite lengthy conversations with my 2 year old (is she supposed to talk and understand this much?), she sings and learns songs extremely fast. I do believe she has a very musical future in store for her, and I plan on helping her learn as much about it as she can. She my 2 year old comes up with the craziest things. Her new favorite phrase is "That's terrible." Now, I don't really know where she picked that up from, but its funny because everything is terrible. "O my gosh" is another new phrase. I say that all the time, so no questions there.

Yesterday, I sat them down for lunch, and walked away to make a bottle. Here's what I heard, "OK buddy, let's pray. Jesus thank you for food... some unrecognizable words... thank you for mommy and daddy... more unrecognizable words... amen." I'm not really a sappy person or a crier, but that made me almost cry.

The boy is learning all sorts of new stuff, too. He's been walking for a couple months now. He's so proud of himself, too. He walks so cute, like he just got off a horse, and always has to carry something while he walks. The other day he tried to swipe food off his sisters tray, I told him no. He looked at me, shook his head and said "NO" And he's showing more interest in talking real words, now. His vocab. consists of Mama, da, mamama (grandma), papa, poop, and dude (I think he thinks that's his name, we call him that so much).

A Day In The Life, one of my favorite Beatles songs. It shows the tragedy of life. All you have to do is look at the headlines in the newspaper and see tragedy, fear, uncertainty... and yet, I still find joy in the little things. The smiles my children give me, the looks my husband gives me (yes I do still catch him checking me out, and yes it makes me smile). My babies are growing up too fast. Granted one's almost 2 and one just turned 9 months, it's still too fast. I love watching them learn, watching them play and interact with each other. I think we adults could take lessons from them. Everything should be a learning experience, we should love others unconditionally (even if they just took a toy from you).

The two year old is starting to become afraid of everything. Toys she used to love just freak her out, a small noise and she'll come running, the phone rings and she is in my lap for a half hour. The world is a big, scary place, the unknown and sometimes even the familiar are scary (hmmm... I don't think that ever goes away). I'm trying my best to help her not be afraid of everything, to still take risks, but I also can't dismiss her fears. So, for now, the world is scary and mommy will hold you for an hour if needed, but I'll also be egging you on to jump on the bed, play in the rain, and have a little independence.

Back to adulthood, the world is scary, the unknown and familiar are scary. Just look at the headlines, nothing is safe anymore. Who knows if this time next week we will still have our houses, or jobs (well, I will still have my job). If the stock market crashes, what next? So I guess I will just have to trust God, because I can't trust anybody or anything else right now (or ever), and try not to be afraid of the unknown (but honestly I am and don't know how not to be). What happens in next weeks headlines? Well, I can't worry about that.