Reflectionsof A Stay At Home Mom

Well, the terrible two's are upon us. Actually it's more like the terrible 18 months and so on. Zebediah is 22 months old, and is a VERY independent little man. He is just like a man too, lol. He loves cars, makes "vroom vroom" noises in a very growly voice any chance he gets, he loves his tools and "fixing" things, very hands on, and has very selective hearing. Selective hearing meaning that whenever he hears a woman's voice, he pretends not to hear, lol.

So, he has decided he doesn't have to listen, he can tell mommy no (even if it's to being sent to the corner), he even has started to hit. Ugh. So, now we have to stop spanking because of the hitting, because that's where he's getting it from, and he thinks it's ok to hit. I don't like spanking much anyway, so that will be a good change. But, what do we do to curb his defiant behavior. Well, I just went to my trusted source of advice, Parents.com to see what they had to say. I found the 5-Second Discipline Fix, here's some exerts:


The Friendly Approach to Discipline

Let's face it: If you had a dollar for every time you wanted your child to do something, paying the bills would be painless. You need him to listen up so you can make it through the day -- and keep your home from becoming a total disaster zone. Yet, like most parents, you probably don't want to be a nag (or a drill sergeant), so you constantly ask your child to cooperate. You figure he'll be more likely to pick up his towel off the bathroom floor or sit down at the dinner table if you come across as friendly rather than bossy. After all, you'll catch more flies with honey, right?

It seems like a reasonable approach, especially since that's the way that we typically talk to adults. "Being polite in our society requires making indirect requests, such as 'Can you pass the salt?'" explains developmental psychologist Linda Acredolo, PhD, a Parents advisor and coauthor of Baby Hearts. "If you interpret this question literally -- as young children always do -- it isn't actually a request for salt, it's a question of whether or not the person is capable of passing the salt." (Of course, you'd never expect your dinner companion to simply answer, "Yes.") So when you ask your child, "Would you like to take a bath now?" he thinks that you're actually offering him the opportunity to say no -- even though you really meant it as a polite way to make a direct command. The result? "You get upset and your child gets upset -- and confused," says Dr. Acredolo.

Watch Your Tone

Of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice. "Research has shown that children are much more likely to cooperate when parents use a pleasant tone of voice," says Alan E. Kazdin, PhD, professor of psychology and child psychiatry at Yale University. "Please" isn't called the magic word for nothing. Using it can get your foot-dragging toddler to put on her pj's without a fuss. "When you're giving your child instructions, it's also crucial to be very clear about what you want her to do -- she should be able to picture the behavior in her mind," says Dr. Kazdin. For instance, it's much more effective to say, "Please go into the den and clean up all the crayons on the table," rather than, "Didn't I ask you to clean up your crayons?" (Rhetorical questions will get you absolutely nowhere.)

The final word: thanks. "It's particularly important to acknowledge your child's efforts by saying 'thank you,'" says Dr. Acredolo. "We're all more likely to cooperate in the future when we feel appreciated."

Give Choices

The most effective way to get your child to cooperate is to give her two choices -- both of which you'll be happy with. When you say, "Do you want to wear your blue jacket or the green sweatshirt with the hood?" it'll be a win-win situation: You give your child a sense of control, and he'll be ready to go out one way or the other. Don't offer a toddler or preschooler an open-ended array of options ("What do you want to wear today?") because the decision will be too overwhelming. "Of course, you can't always give your child choices because you would never get out of the house on time," says Dr. Kazdin. "But do it whenever you can."

To get more tips go to parents.com, they have wonderful advice for everything. So, tomorrow we will be trying these tips and see how it goes. I'm going to give it a couple weeks, but I'll let you know what works, and what doesn't.

I just want to say thank you to all our troops past and present. Thank you for all you've done and all you will do for us and our country. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

A friend posted this song from YouTube on Facebook today, and I thought it highly appropriate for today (sorry it's a clicky, I can't figure out how to post it here). Enjoy.

October 9th (my c-section date) came too fast. I was so nervous, because I didn't know what to expect. I knew how the c-section would go, but I never had one scheduled before so I didn't know how that would go. It actually was the easiest birth I had (minus the stress leading up to it and during). I got there, got settled in. First thing they did is put an IV in, and I almost passed out LAYING DOWN. I don't do well with needles, so I was expecting it. Once I calmed down, we went through all the normal health history stuff, boring. Got blood drawn, but I didn't get woozy for that one. They bring me to the OR and I get a spinal. I hated the feeling of numbness but still can feel touch and pushing, it is the grossest feeling in the world to me. I actually did really good, they didn't need to give me any "mental" drugs to calm me down. The only time I got really freaked out was when they were pulling him out, there was so much pressure on my lungs and everything else (the Dr. asked me later if I was in pain because of how I reacted to it, lol). It only took 45 minutes, but it sure felt longer. Ezekiel was born at 7:50, weighed 7 lbs 7 oz, and 20 inches long (I had to look that up, because when they told me I was so drugged up that I don't remember).

He's getting so big already. He's a month old, he's trying to hold his head up and does quite well at it. He smiles and giggles, but only when he sleeps. He sleeps more than I remember a baby sleeping, and eats quite well. The other two just love him, they give him hugs and kisses whenever they can. Hazel even decided one day to pick him up without help. He was crying, and I didn't get to him fast enough, and she wanted to help with her little brother. She helps feed him, and gives him his pacifier when he needs it. Zeb is too busy to do all that, but every once in a while he'll help feed him (for a minute, then he goes back to playing). So far, 3 under 4 yrs. old has been a lot of fun, and a lot of work.